Overcoming Fear To Win: How To Master Yourself and Your Mindset
Overcoming Fear To Win: How To Master Yourself and Your Mindset
OK Mr Turtle You Can Relax! F.E.A.R Is False evidence appearing real. Ever heard that one?
The only reason I know this is because I was under the fear blanket for a while there with various personal and business reasons and it paralyzed my life growing up.
So I know all too well that it can ruin lives.
Fear can destroy dreams as it clouds our minds and bodies from full potential, stopping us in our tracks like a huge Lion in our pathway.
Overcoming Fear can change your life FOREVER.
But wait! There is a caveat to this!
Is some fear good?
YES, it can be, and it can serve us and also be a gauge – showing us that there is something to care about.
I will explain why:
When someone is a person who cares about what they do, their standards, their role, their self respect and so on – this means that they may be fearful when they approach something new and challenging because it can increase their sense of self respect, appreciation, status, skills and help them to grow. When we grow we can feel fear and it’s perfectly natural. WE ALL DO!
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2 Story examples of fear perspectives:
A HAWAII KAYAKING DISASTER
The beautiful island of Hawaii offers so much to tourists and locals alike.
I was fortunate to visit there for my 30th Birthday for 3 weeks and explored the islands and just about every activity I could. One day we were kayaking up a steady and smooth river, and it was peaceful, gentle and just stunning looking around at the lush green mountains and totally unique scenery. There was fairly large group of us – all in a close space, with couples, singles and some families with children. It was named as a family experience for complete novices, so we had no worries, and the guide was totally laid back as you can imagine.
We reached a small area of land where we could lift out our kayaks so that the guide could explain where we were heading. We all stood around and listened and laughed – but very quickly it became apparent that the river was flowing faster. It was also rising quickly. We told the guide and he smiled calmly and said that this was normal. It was a deluge caused by rain from the top of the Mountain.
It was pretty heavy.
He continued calmly telling is what we would be doing, but a few of us pointed out that it seems to becoming more serious. He brushed it off initially, but then turned around again and said ‘hmmm, yeah I reckon we should get in our kayaks and head back down to the gentle open area where it’s less pressure. So, we all thought thatthis sounded sensible and so we climbed back into our Kayaks. But as my girlfriend and i climbed in we could see that othes were already being fired down river at hefty speeds.
We were a bit concerned but he explained what we needed to do to prevent the speed increasing. Unfortunately we didn’t seem to grasp his instructions too well, and we were next to fire quickly down river and we picked up some serious speed. My partner started to panic a little in front of me, so I said ‘stay calm, soon we will be in more open water again and it will be fine’. But we panicked and all logic and reason went out of the Kayak.
We started heading toward a bank and my partner was saying ‘SHIT, Greg what are we gonna do?’ I said ‘relax, it’s OK we just need to turn to our left a little!’ But we didn’t turn at all. As we headed towards the bank I could see that we were going to hit it, so I grabbed my partners back where her life jacket was and pulled her off with me. The Kayak slammed into the bank with some force and shot up in the air and turned over before it fell upside down back into the river some 20 metres in front of us. We were OK, if a little shocked and as we were safe we simply floated gently down river holding onto one another.
Our friends were actually laughing at us, which somehow took the seriousness we felt out of the situation almost instantly and we could breathe again and relax. Our guide went and got our Kayak, so we were OK, but others had gotten tangled in their kayaks, and one guy got stuck under his, with rapid water rushing over his head until he went under.
All of us were trying to point out that he was under and it was some time before the guide had gotten to him as he had to help others first. Luckily he came up after the guide dived under, and it was such a huge relief as I thought he was a gonner. Several members of the party had simliar experiences and it turned out to be quite dramatic. As we floated back into calmer waters we all felt a deep sigh of relief. I think that I learned from that event not to panic so much in life, as whilst some anxiety can be useful to help with focus and pay attention it can also prevent our logical minds acting effectively. From every event or situation I have been in where I have been forced to learn – it has made me adjust slightly and tweak ‘how i behave’ in future situations.
Sometimes we learn the lessons but other times we keep making the same mistakes. The trouble is – if we keep making the same mistakes throughout life we may never create better habits worthy of lasting change. We may suffer way more than we need to. I was watching a program the other day which demonstrated exactly this.
If we fail to get the mindset right it affects everything else.
RAPHAEL’S CARTOONS AT V AND A
I have been watching a series about the Victoria and Albert Museum and it goes behind the scenes of the work needed to maintain the standards and quality of stunning collections from around the world.
In one episode the team were commissioned to clean and restore the Raphael Cartoons which are works owned by the Queen of England and were created by Raphael as blueprint templates for the tapestry work designed for the Sistine Chapel. These are seven stunning examples of high renaissance art in 1515-16. Just one piece of work, with the frame holding it weighs in at one ton.
So the operation of removing the frame is no mean feat and requires a highly skilled team either side of the work on scaffolding frames operating ropes with delicate precision, to be able to lift it away from the work. Every person involved including the Team leaders on the ground were anxious, and you could hear a pin drop as they maneuvered the glass and frame carefully and slowly away in order to expose the the beautiful raw work. One of the team leaders said, ‘I was so nervous that I couldn’t breath’.
So, did nerves help them or hinder them? In this case it sharpened their focus and attention to be in the moment, therefore, it is not a completely negative experience and in fact it served as a great tool for the purpose of this operation. So, again I just wanted to point out that we all feel nerves and we all will, fear will never be totally redundant in our lives, but there is a huge difference between ‘living in fear’ every day, and having an experience through caring about an outcome.
As some say ‘you should be nervous’ in certain situations as it shows you care and serves a purpose.
Portrait of Raphael: Overcoming Fear To Win:
Another member of the team was responsible for cleaning and checking a stunning renaissance piece called ‘meleager’. A beautiful bronze and gold statuette created between 1484-90 by Antonio Alari Bonacolsi. This was a very delicate operation indeed and the Lady responsible for cleaning ‘meleager’ every year always found it an anxiety provoking undertaking. She cared! Which is a good thing, but she admitted that her nerves got in the way of being fully present. Interesting huh! We all have different takes on our feelings an whether they help us or hinder our life and work. All I know is that, when I am in the zone, I am not emotional at all.
I put aside emotion so I can think rationally and powerfully on the moment at hand. I have trained to get into the zone and create flow, so that I can work for hours at a specific standard, and this creates (for me) pure productivity. I feel more effective, and can achieve greater outputs of work when entirely focused on that thing. If we can achieve this in business we can also train ourselves and our teams to master this art and thus we can create high performing teams.
Many of us have great potential in life, but if we are never taught how to create a habit of expressing this into becoming a high performer then we may live and work and create average results. Not in all cases, but this can be a major cause of average results being created. It brings to mind also ‘sex transmutation’ which simply means that we may use our sexual energy and desires and place into great works in order to be our best.
I love to raise my own energy levels and to feel good, and this way I have greater abilities in what I do.
I believe that we need to express ourselves in every way in order to be our best.
So, if we have blockages within of unexpressed feelings, beliefs or desires this can stifle our performances. We are all different, but certainly we can use what we have to our advantage with a little exploration. The best part is that – we are not changing anything we always have access to. We don’t need to change. We simply need to notice what we have at our disposal to better help us.
So, I am not suggesting for a single moment that ALL fear is bad. It isn't.
But living in fear day to day which eats away at you and where you feel passive, worried, and traumatized by fearful events will destroy your standard of life. I know as I suffered from panic attacks, and severe anxiety up until around 30 years of age. I slowly and steadily learned by reading books that I WAS THE CAUSE of my traumatic feelings from younger days.
So, a type of fear can sharpen our focus when something is important sure, its a great feature of being Human, but every day fear is to conducive or productive to our own happiness, joy, confidence or progress.
What do you fear?
I always feared public speaking until I spoke at brothers wedding. How did I manage? I had learned to be in the moment rather than worry about what others thought of me. I learned to apply self love inn order to feel happy with whatever I decided to attempt.
How do you do this?
A great way I learned from one of my coaches was with seeing an event going well over and over again and how I wished it to go.
So, I saw myself smiling, confident, relaxed, and capable delivering the speech so much that by the time the day came I did exactly that with ease.
Could that work for you?
Perhaps!
SO – DON’T ALLOW FEAR TO take CONTROL as it will STOP the action you need to take in order to be all that you can be.
Our potential is so much more than we sometimes think! We have to master fear to EXPLORE NEW POSSIBILITIES!
And we can choose another way of acting and being when we know how.
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Overcoming Fear To Win: How To Master Yourself: The Way We Are Wired!
We are all built from day one to experience the Flight or Fight response, It Is Within Us.
Inside your head and mine there are almond-shaped groups of nuclei located deep within the medial temporal lobes of the brain in complex vertebrates. These are like a fear thermostat really!
Now don’t worry – I am not getting deep or technical here but, in simple terms we all have the thermostat inside which triggers fear.
They are called the amygdala.
Overcoming Fear To Win: How To Master Yourself and Your Mindset
Overcoming fear: We have all Had The EXPERIENCE when we are frightened and our senses are heightened!
This is when we are most alert and the Adrenalin is pumping around the brain and muscles. This is extreme fear is really when we are in imminent danger.
Then there are Panic Attacks and extreme anxiety.
Also more generalized types of fear such as anxiety of work stress, relationships and money. There are other fears such as phobias of things such as Heights or spiders or snakes.
Some are quite rational fears and some are not so.
HOT TIP: The Key Is To FACE YOUR FEAR HEAD ON!
Trust me here, I know as I have been there so many times!
DO NOT RELY ON DRUGS OF ANY KIND AS CAN MAKE YOU WORSE and are not dealing with your thoughts BUT MASKING THE THOUGHTS!
But we need to face what it is that is causing the issue in the first place. Masking anything only hides what is there, and it won’t go away unless we face it. And when we can accept something head on we can deal with it. It is almost as though the power is gone when we look at it right in the eye.
Now OK – i know fear doesn’t have eyes, but I am sure you get my point there.
Overcoming fear: Did you know that ‘whatever’ the fear or phobia is, it is something that you have created.
Understanding this first is tremendously powerful. And knowing that we are actually creating this fear is a great starting point to letting it go and overcoming something in many cases.
We may have experienced many things as kids, good, bad, indifferent, and I know I have had experiences which left a mark on me and my abolity to cope. In fact, I once found it hard to cope just getting up and going to work as I feared everything. This fear was out of proportion to reality also, so I intensified it, and made it huge.
TIP: So here’s another tip; We make things big and bold and colourful and intense as they are emotion driven. So, the key is in deflating those images we don’t want to see. As we inflate and build wonderful images from memory such as great holidays, love, buying a new Cars or something else which can make us get a great rush when we wake up in the morning, so the idea is in maximising our GOOD memories, and letting go of the old ones.
How?
One way is when we see that image we make it tiny like a pin head, and send it off into the distance. So, anytime we see that thing, we begin to learn to relate it to something insignificant.
Also, we may see a scene we once hated and we smash it to pieces with a hammer. Or we make it sound like a cartoon. In other words, we take the sting out of it. We make it SILLY! As a Coach, Mentor and writer I am a person who who has taken from all of my experiences, so I think that all of them have helped me and helped me to help others.
So, weirdly I thank my past now.
It made me who I am.
It’s all great value.
Whilst I went through many traumas myself whilst in a very stressful times growing up and working in a business that I hated with not much money my anxiety levels were so high that I experienced panic attacks and extreme anxiety. And this led to severe depression.
I was avoiding people where ever I went – it was truly ‘horrible’.
This unnatural feeling or STATE was ACTUALLY ’caused by me’.
I didn’t know that back then until I learned how to deal with it and Overcome The Fear.
WHEN YOU REALIZE THAT THERE IS NOTHING TO FEAR YOU FEEL ALIVE AGAIN!
As I said, there are some things to fear sure, and only recently I spoke to a guy who lived In Africa and Kayaked around Crocs, Hippos and deadly rapids yet survived many occasions where he thought he may have been doomed.
Well, I will share his podcast episode once that is live and I will place here below here, but until then just know that, we need to distinguish between real fear and nonsensical fear. Others may try to take advantage of weaker people, and I for one hate that.
To me, it shows the issue is with the person trying to manipulate.
They clearly have issues with ego, or with trying to empire build, so they can walk over others who may be a bit more vulnerable.
Overcoming Fear To Win: How To Master Yourself
Overcoming Fear To Win: How To Master Yourself and Your Mindset
Fear stopped me in my tracks and It stopped me from living a normal productive life back then. I was like a frightened animal shaking, and all of my fear made my body numb. I would get clammy hands, sweat, have a dry throat and feel faint.
I genuinely thought I was having a heart attack.
I googled everything as i just didn’t get it. I suffered for years and kept thinking I had nailed it. But every time i looked at potential causes for my symptoms it didn’t fit.
So, I studied all forms of anxiety, panic and depression. I visited a counselor, a hypnotherapist, listened to Doctors and eventually, came to the conclusion that I HAD TO CHANGE!
No-one could help me.
But I am not suggesting that no-one can help you: THEY MAY BE ABLE TO. I am not a Doctor, i was a patient. And I learned to master this in my twenties.
BUT PLEASE DO NOT ALLOW THIS TO MANAGE YOU, do whatever it takes. And you can change what needs changing.
By the way – we don’t need to change who we are or what we are. We need to change our perspective, That’s all.
It is simply our belief which has gotten us stuck.
The POWER is always there for us. And always has been.
So, when you reach a RED light, take a good look at it, and see if it is really there to stop you, or is it there just to warn you of potential danger? That’s the thing – Fear is a gauge, it is trying to help us and warn us, so it’s kind of a good thing.
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Overcoming Fear To Win: How To Master Yourself and Your Mindset
STRESS CAN STOP US FROM STRIVING FOR SUCCESS. Some love to have some stress, and they thrive on it and with it, but when it takes control of US then we are becoming it’s slave. And we should never be slaves to anything in my humble opinion.
THE TRUTH IS THAT mine got so bad that I actually hid in a cupboard when someone knocked on my door. I was terrified in facing anyone.
I can NOW look back and smile, and even sometimes laugh at that of course but, it is not funny for people who are currently experiencing this horrible condition.
Next time you feel fear WELCOME IT, and see if the intensity goes. You may find like I did, that once I wasn’t trying to fight it, it had no power over me. Make sense? We look right at it, and we smile. Can you see the power in that?
Overcoming Fear To Win: How To Master Yourself: What does this have to do with your success?
A great deal! We cannot be our full unlimited selves this way.
We are only a part of our true selves.
We cannot function properly – and we cannot live life with confidence and true ability.
So, you can’t apply yourself in a TRULY effective way.
Our potential is hidden and so we need to become a person who can perform.
Some people never get extreme anxiety but in the current world we live in, stress is GROWING and it’s the highest and worst villain in bringing people down and disabling them from being their true-selves.
Overcoming Fear To Win: How To Master Yourself
I saw a documentary the other day where a kid was exceptionally gifted on his Mountain bike. He would do tricks such as jumping off of castle walls and doing back flips over fences on his bike. It looked terrifying. But, the interesting part for me wasn’t how good he was (as he was awesome!) But, the fact that he had no fear receptors. So, his fear thermostat didn’t work. Thus, we attempted many things which most of us would not go near.
This kid was eventually hired by Nike because they saw that his videos were getting millions of views. They sponsored him. He made several Million dollars from his skills. Pretty cool huh!
The point is – I don’t know whether NOT having fear is totally awesome because ‘what if we saw a Crocodile and smoothed it as we weren’t scared?’ I know this is extreme, but I am sure you get my point. What if we walk into things which ARE TO FEAR? It could end badly.
Overcoming Fear To Win: How To Master Yourself
Hey we all get fears, but if we avoid what we dream of doing because of fear then it could prevent us living a life we deserve.
See what I mean?
IF fear dominates US, then it is blocking our TRUTH.
I know that in business I have had to face things I hated, I have had to walk into challenges, face risk, and even let go of people which I hate, but the more we have self respect and self love we see what our standards are.
So, what are your current standards? Are they really high enough?
VERY HOT TIP: I want you to know RIGHT NOW that by Unconditionally loving yourself and by doing a host of positive actions every day you can Overcome Fear FOR GOOD I PROMISE YOU.
Overcoming Fear To Win: How To Master Yourself: Here are some more tips:
1) Love and Respect yourself every day no matter what anyone says or does to you, you are the power within so you can manage this to overcome the fear and master your mind. We cannot control what is outside of us. So, it is useless fearing what is out of our control.
2) Exercise. Whatever you do GET MOVING TODAY by running, walking, weights, fitness training, swimming anything to get your heart going so that you create natural great feelings which help you to focus and think properly. This is a great confidence booster. Eat good food, drink plenty of water.
3) Breath deeply more often. Breath in and out deeply but naturally more, and this helps the mind to think more clearly. Do this about 5 times and feel yourself getting clear relaxed and centred. You can do this anytime, anywhere. Fear blocks clarity in thought but this helps overcome that.
4) Say ‘only’ positive things to yourself – and when you find yourself going over old ground with a negative word or sentence, just say the word ‘cancel’ or ‘STOP’. Cancel out the clutter and rubbish and eventually this will become a positive habit.
5) Don’t rely on medication for feeling good. It masks your true self and doesn’t cure you. Slowly and steadily come off of any drugs with help from your doctor or Councillor. YOU WILL SEE that one day that you didn’t need them and you will feel alive again! I PROMISE YOU!
6) Start a hobby to occupy your mind with something that you feel passionate about. This is amazing for focus and confidence building. Create a solid vision and get to know your value driven goals. Focus on those goals and do whatever it takes to aim for them. This gives you drive and purpose.
7) Face Your Fears and be brave. The first step to being able to overcome fear is to walk into what scares you. You will see that ‘it has no power over you’, it is just that ‘you’ have given your energy to the situation. IT IS NOT REAL! We often Fear the fear. That’s all.
8) DON’T TAKE LIFE SO SERIOUSLY. What’s the point? None of us will escape in the end, so learn to laugh at yourself, at life and others and be more relaxed about it all. There is no need to be stiff, stuck or stubborn and it can make us ill literally. This is a biggy, as I see so many people being uptight about life, but why? Life is for loving, laughing, living and enjoying. Ditch the hard on yourself tough part, it ain’t worth it. Yes there is a time to be serious of course, so do what you need to to be serious when you need to. But never forget that life is a rare and precious gift.
9) CHANGE your daily routine. Start the day expecting the best. The night before see your day going well. Use powerful audios to program your mind if you wish to. Get clarity on your vision and make it stronger every day.
10) FORGET PERFECTIONISM AND COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS. We will never be perfect, we can all strive to be our best, but there is no point in creating ourselves pain by trying to compare ourselves in any way. It only causes further pain. Do you best sure and let it go. Don’t beat yourself up, because you think you need to be better. Just do your best and emotionally let it go. If others don’t think you are good enough, so what, you are good enough regardless of anything in your past or what anyone has said. You are capable and competent you just need to know it.
11) NEVER PUT OTHERS ON A PEDESTAL. This makes you feel inferior. Its not nice to yourself. No-one is better than you, so never feel they are. Yes, there are hero’s out there and those whom we can admire, sure, but no-one is a SUPER HERO! Know what I mean? If we do so, we enable others to put us down. We are all equals. If we feel superior or inferior then it can damage our emotional well being. So look after your well being by respecting YOU.
12) Stop sabotaging yourself – by starting something and not finishing because you think you are not good enough to complete it. Or not starting in the first place. Procrastinating because of some belief which is not true at all. get on with it, and don’t stop. Finish what you start. I was a classic saboteur and I didn’t even know it. Somewhere inside of me I couldn’t finish as I believed that I didn’t deserve it. BUT I DID and so do you. Find out what it is that is causing your sabotage and realise that IT IS PAST NONSENSE. It has no bearing on now, today.
Overcoming Fear To Win: How To Master Yourself and Your Mindset
Overcoming Fear To Win: How To Master Yourself: I know what humans are capable of AS I AM ONE and I have changed so much.
I am ‘proof’ that by following certain actions and principles, WE can ACHIEVE ANYTHING. When we start to Overcome Fear we will see that we are the masters of our lives and always have been.
Try to help yourself now by trying to tackle new IDEAS and any business challenges, and push yourself past what you are used to. Baby steps is all it takes. One step at a time will change so much. Get support and find others who have roles which can support yours.
Don't be a prisoner to your own fear.
Fear can be brought on by many things – but it can also be overcome by you!
For example – If you are in a position where you have lost your job or you are retired or in a relationship crisis, we can look at the actual issue first. When we break it down and look at what is really there it is usually ONE THING which is magnifying our feelings beyond what is rational.
When we can see that thing we can look for solutions. There are always solutions. Write it down, look at it, and if need be GET HELP.
Remember that I am not saying that we cannot GET HELP, we can and should if we need it, but just know that you have more tools than you may realise. You have the power to change something.
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We all want to BE HAPPY and to secure our future, thus preventing more future stress and this 'can' be done with the right action taken.
ALWAYS believe in what you do! AND IF IT DOESN’T WORK OUT SO WHAT – MOVE ON!
We can follow what we believe in for as long as it takes, but if we find that this isn’t aligned with our truest values we may also move on.
FAILURE can disable us, and prevent us from trying new things but it shouldn’t. We all fail as we grow. We grow and we get better.
So, don’t attach doom to failure, just because we were taught it growing up. It is a good thing, it means we have tried something different, and we have hopefully learned from it, so we take the lesson and move on. Don’t you think?
What's holding you back from the past? What's stopping you now moving forward? Find it, look at it and move on.
Opportunities are everywhere for you to take and to run with. If you want more help with Overcoming Fear? Contact me here.
I will be happy to help.
If you want to understand more about LOVE and where to begin then feel free to check out my first book HERE I talk about creating self love in order to discover passions and create a purpose driven life or business
Overcoming Fear To Win: How To Master Yourself and Your Mindset
Overcome Fear Today By Doing Something That You ‘Think You Fear’!
See how you get on and let me know what happened.
I Really Hope That You Enjoyed F.E.A.R and how to Overcome it! It Is My Aim To Help You In Any Way That I Can to start Overcoming Fear NOW!
I wish you the very best as always
Greg
Business is about Mindset. So for a 1ON1 Mindset and Business Growth Coaching FREE Strategy Session go here:
